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Drifting, Dreamlessly

by Withholder

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1.
Prying Eyes 03:04
Welcome home, loneliness I kept your spot nice and warm I wondered when you'd return I didn't mean to call you back But my eyes pry their way inside places that they should never go I see things that make my stomach turn When will I learn I do this to myself? All my friends are sleeping, so i'm keeping you as company Loneliness, you're always there for me I can do this
2.
St. Lucie 03:44
Ever since I was a child, I've lived life in the past tense holding onto every little thing I regret Never looking forward to the future or the present, clinging on to words I left unsaid St. Lucie pull me back into your harbor so I can change the way I never lived my life To all my broken lovers, let down brothers, cast me out into the sea to start over how I wanna be See I've been feeling like less of a man, and more of a failure to the ones who raised me Love was never for someone like me, without ambition or a vision of what I wanna see in the mirror As I stood there, I caught these other beings staring back at me, like there was something wrong with my body I was caught in miscommunication with myself and as the image blurred, I wasn't sure what I could see I want to be like them my God, what is my purpose?
3.
Free Time 03:47
I dread free time, cause free time is spent thinking of you dread free time, cause free time is spent stuck in my head I spend hours and hours just staring down at my phone asking questions with answers I know I don't wanna know I know you think I'm fucking stupid but it's crazy how the mind takes control you don't know what it's like to be alone Did you ever think of me when you were on your hands and knees? Was I ever in your head when you were laying in his bed?
4.
Montego 04:18
I drove past your house for the third time this month I saw the lawn where we sat for three years and fell in love I still think about the days that we spent in your room with our legs tangled up in the bedsheets Now our memories are filthy treasures covered in dirt and grime When I share this space with another, it just doesn't feel right I'm not angry, I'm more sorry for not holding my worth If you call me, I'll never fail to be on the other side of the telephone I'm still waiting See now my legs won't work and my throat chokes up when I look at old photos of you When I don't wanna be around, what am I supposed to do? Today doesn't seem worth it, so I'll just call it a night and go back to bed I'll close my eyes and fall asleep, and never wake up again I'm still waiting for things to go back to how they used to be
5.
New Shore 02:30
Where have you gone now? Where are you hiding? I waited night after night for a sound, but the sound, it never came so I set off into the dark I wander through foggy sleep, listening for the sound of your voice across dawnless paths and endless boundries I drift on cloudy waters

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released November 17, 2017

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Withholder Fresno, California

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